As one regular reader of this blog will remind the other, back in September 2009 I did an interview for “Reader’s Digest” Magazine, about both the book and the website it was based on. The article appeared in their December 2009 edition, and today I’m delighted to say they have very kindly given permission for me to share it online.* It can be viewed by clicking here (and no doubt Mr P will tidy it up and provide an even easier link in due course). There is a witty cartoon to accompany it… but obtaining permission to use it is proving trickier. Either watch this space, or visit your dentist more often.

In other technological advances, I’ve begun playing with “Photoshop Elements 7,” and the first fruits of my attempts at an “animated” banner to publicise the book are online. The problems of balancing the space available at the top of the page with something which might catch the eye have proved interesting; and I’m beginning to understand why those in advertising charge what they do.

* Many, many thanks to The Reader’s Digest Association Ltd (particularly Haze) for granting us kind permission to reproduce the article online.

I assume there is an apostrophe in the name?

Not sure what it means, but the page now sports a snazzy red sticker that says they’ve compared the price with other sources; and are confident that is the price they wish to be selling it at… or whatever… didn’t read the pop-up that closely…

Maybe they’ve had as little time as I have. For some reason, this January has been the maddest in ages in the theatre world. Two very long weeks down, two more to go – and that is without the new Andrew Lloyd Webber offering, “Love Never Dies” kicking off at the end of the month.

I say new, but, like many others who like musicals and watched the “South Bank Show Awards” at the weekend, I’m now slightly worried. It seems that the beautiful “Our Kind of Love” from his 2000 show “The Beautiful Game” will reappear as the title number in the show. OK, it was originally “The Heart Is Slow To Learn” and intended for the show anyway – before making it into another score – but still… you do worry that his expensive piano broke down while composing, and in his panic he accidentally started composing on his photocopier.

Luckily, I’ve heard two other numbers from the show, and the waltz he has written is outstanding. So, will we all forgive and overlook? Watch this space next month…

“The Catcher In The Rye” would have to be pretty close to the top of the list. For my generation, it sat with “The Breakfast Club,” “Beverley Hills 90210” (the original, not the current mess), “On The Road,” “American Graffiti” and “The Last Picture Show” as insights into how our peers across the pond thought and behaved.

Best of all, thanks to Salinger’s sensitivity to celebrity, “Rye” remains one of my few memorable books unpolluted by Hollywoodisation. No overpaid phoney proto-junkies will pretend to be Holden, Phoebe and the rest… and let’s hope his estate will keep it that way. Thank you, Mr Salinger, and goodbye.

Returning to the book I did write (and for which Mr P is open to film offers – I’m thinking Clooney playing me, perhaps a CGI for Mr P) it was a relief yesterday to test its advice again and find it works fine. 50 stunning “all green” seats secured with a group bookings clerk in under 5 minutes. No fuss, no long negotiation, no deviation from the “booking groups” advice section of the book. Phew!

Not the monkey himself, as I shifted those three pounds gained due to festive indulgence. Actually, I now feel very guilty about dieting as it was probably one of the reasons Cadbury’s share price fell enough for it to be taken over. People of Bourneville, I apologise.

Happier news, as both book and site appear to be reaching the parts other publications don’t like to think about. Over the weekend enquiries and feedback (positive – phew!) drifted in from places as far apart as Austria, Scotland and the USA. Not bad going.

Also good news is that the book is still selling well at Dress Circle, Monmouth Street, London. They asked me in yesterday to sign a fresh batch of copies, and say that over Christmas it was very popular indeed. Their faith in it is so great that it remains available right on the main shop counter, just to the right as you walk in, complete with one upright in a neat display holder on top of the stack. Mr P’s theory about making the book “pocket-sized” holds good for making it “impulse counter spot friendly” too. Further copies are also available downstairs in their main book department. Thanks all at DC for your support.

In theatre, when a show is doing well, you know it. There are signs outside announcing how few seats are left, and long lines at the box office. Rumours and gossip too help a lot. With books, how do you know?

 Amazon’s “ranking” system manages to zip your tome from 3,000 to 80,000 and back again in 24 hours – making you wonder if they do it by “weight of books in stock plus weight of the person picking them for despatch” rather than more scientific means. If so, I’m hoping “Big Burt” is allocated to the theatre section more frequently than little “Vicky B.”

 At least Waterstones tell you a bit more online by also letting you know how many branches are stocking your work. The good news is that since Tuesday, Kensington High Street, King’s Road, and Garrick Street in the centre of London, and Southend, Sheffield, Middlesbrough and Canterbury have all decided to get stock in. Foyles, Charing Cross Road also got an extra 4 in on Monday, and have sold half.

So we know there is some stock out there, and that it is selling – but unless you make the actual book charts or subscribe to Nielson (the book sales recorder) it is still far more covert than even secretive box office figures… and who chats online about book sales except authors?!

Yesterday, prior to spending the pinkest evening ever (no, nothing to do with Mr P and his leather trousers, I’m talking the daffily enjoyable “Legally Blonde” at the Savoy Theatre), I dropped by Waterstones on Trafalgar Square. There, on the first floor (second to American readers), right by the spiral staircase, ”Local Interest” section fourth shelf down, in a “facing” position (where the front, not just the spine of the book can be seen)… three copies!!! And even better, the front one had been well-thumbed so it was obviously being browsed (or the store detectives had been particularly vigilant).

Two copies more available in Foyles, now three on Trafalgar Square. The sensation of somehow being part of London was stronger than I thought possible… and rather odd to be connected to two famous landmarks too. Combined with several nice compliments at the theatre and from readers and associates who bought the book and say they love it, not bad at all, not bad at all.

Final thing, different subject totally. Tomorrow, 20th January 2010, a group of young professionals in the creative industry will come together to “Help Haiti” at the Proud Camden venue. An evening of live music, spoken word and DJs featuring performances by Micachu, Chapter 24, Fiction, Polarbear and many more is promised, with a suggested small donation of £3 per person at the door. More details here.  If you are free and want to do something to help, this could be it.

Chatting to someone ‘in the know,’ those who purchase “Theatremonkey, A Guide to London’s West End” apparently arrive at the booth better informed than anyone around them, and allegedly enjoy far smoother and more satisfactory transactions than non-book buyers.

This has nothing to do with not having to dodge Mr P as he jumps up and down beside non-book carriers yelling “buy our book” in their ears; and everything to do with knowing what they can expect and how best to work with the wonderful staff to get the most from their visit. Best of all, they know to ignore the rip-off merchants and go straight to the correct Official Society of London Theatre TKTS Half Price Ticket booth as full-colour-pictured in the book.

Speaking of Mr P, grabbing a moment to chat, he happily admits to finding sales figures to date more than pleasing – we’re outselling our nearest rival 5 to 1 according to his calculations – and he is settling in for the long haul. As always, the worlds of theatre and publishing collide as I’m used to having a product which is rendered useless after a fixed time, whereas Mr P works in a world of ‘long tails’ (his office has a mice infestation, not) as a book is valuable stock for far longer. The whole different approach is fascinating.

Yes, had to use it.

The other day I had one of those “moments” that life sometimes hands you. A London suburban park at noon, sun shining, untouched snow thick on the grass. It doesn’t get much better than that (except maybe when sharing a ‘post-lottery win’ Jacuzzi with the Miss World finalists – whose swimsuits failed to arrive back from the dry cleaners; puts in Mr P. Who obviously ate cheese before retiring last night). Moving swiftly on.

London theatre survived without any lost performances, and some venues were sporting enough to allow those coming in from outside the tube area to exchange their seats for another performance. Those who did make it in were rewarded with seat upgrades – every cloud has a silver lining. One person even skied into Foyles and nabbed a copy of the theatremonkey book, too, which is good news.

 Also picking up from last time, one American reader wanted to know what “Quality Street” was. Apparently another UK Christmas tradition that doesn’t make it over the pond. Named after the J.M. Barrie play, and first produced in 1936, the large 1.1 kg (OK, OK, 2.4 pound) tins are piled high and sold in crateloads by Brit supermarkets in the weeks leading up to the big day. A mixture of individually wrapped toffees and chocolates with caramel or fruit-flavoured crème centres, Saddam Hussein used to ask his victims, “What’s your Favourite?” following the famous advertising slogan. For more details, see www.qualitystreet.co.uk.

2010. Another year, another 3 pounds to burn off. You’d think the effort of opening the tin, unwrapping the ‘Quality Street’ and then separating the foil from plastic for re-cycling reasons would equal the energy content of consuming the sweet itself – but sadly not. Marketing thought – why not wrap them so that it does?

With the lousy Christmas Day television schedule happily a memory, back to the theatremonkey office and some good news to kick off the year. During the break, one reader left a great review on amazon.co.uk, while three others have been kind enough to email the website directly. All commented on how much they enjoyed the book, as did those to whom they gave copies as gifts. Thanks, people! Really appreciated – particularly the comments from one theatre industry veteran who rated it “the clearest, most comprehensive and accurate guide I’d ever read.”

That’s quite a relief, as during January and February, both Really Useful Group (Andrew Lloyd Webber’s theatres) and Nimax (Nica Burns, joint owner and head of the Society of London Theatres) theatre programmes will be carrying a review of it – right next to the one on Subo’s debut CD. Now there’s a contrast.

The other good news is that the book is now available in Foyles on Charing Cross Road. Three copies in when I checked online yesterday, so ski down there at will.

With the time fast approaching to dissect turkey, consume endless candles by doughnut light or stick your head under a pillow for two weeks (according to your particular beliefs for the season), it’s time for the annual Christmas Card Review.

As ever, they fall into two categories – the Sacred and the Insane. The Sacred are, as ever, a tasteful reminder that for a large part of the population this is a time of personal reflection and celebration of something more meaningful than retail sales figures.

The Insane are as thought-provoking, in a different way. Is it the world’s greatest idea to send a photo-montage of your team to your customers? And why exactly is a bank in Turkey sending out a card with a snowy Trafalgar Square on the front? They are excused because the cards are donating heavily to Cancer Research, but what’s the scenery connection? It’s nice to be remembered, though, and obviously somebody was alert as all were signed in crayon rather than risking anything sharper.

With the book (yes, thought I’d better mention in case Mr P is reading) still in bookshops and hopefully turning up inside gaudy giftwrap under a tree near you late next week as a last moment impulse purchase, it’s time to wind up my blog entries for 2009. Thanks to everybody reading it, and wish all a peaceful holiday season and all the very best for 2010.