It isn’t all commerce though. In fact, the book has just helped raise several hundred pounds for charity. Outside of work I have a group of keen theatregoing friends on whom I experiment occasionally by cramming them onto a coach bound for the West End. This, incidentally, was how much of the “group organiser” advice was researched. Planning our next trip, I promised them signed copies in return for donations. Combined with an extra donation per ticket (acceptable as I got a particularly amazing rate on the seats I bought), it was pretty successful.

For others who’d also liked signed copies, Mr P passed a plea to me from Dress Circle for extra signed stock. That’ll be with them just after the weekend, so feel free to support this amazing retailer.

In other news, and at the risk of promoting another person’s book, the theatremonkey.com competition to win a copy of “The Pantomime Life of Joseph Grimaldi” has been a roaring success. Whether it proves theatremonkey readers are true readers, or just hopeful of winning something to sell on Ebay I don’t know – but I really hope it is the former.

Finally, isn’t it irritating when you get a folded batch of tickets, and find them folded the wrong way?! 50 arrived for me today, and had to be untangled. On the bright side, at least I got only my own tickets this time. In the past, I’ve been sent multiple parties ones… and have sometimes been tempted…

Back in the real world, thanks to another reader kind enough to leave a review on Amazon. Also, must confess to moving the books around a little in a local bookshop today… be interesting to see if it helps…

In other news, more technology fun as the company who keep the theatremonkey website online have just been taken over. This means the site will be intermittently offline tonight, from 10pm, until 6am tomorrow, as they shift things to the new company’s way of thinking. At least I’m not involved on that one.

A discussion about West End theatre seating in the Independent newspaper also lead to a Mark Shenton “The Stage” blog on the subject too, in which a kind reader also gives theatremonkey a mention… so all in all it’d be fine… if it wasn’t for the European Union.

Yes, thanks to their “Microsoft Must Tell Everybody that they Have A Choice” policy, I wasted a very valuable working hour this morning. To elaborate: The EU made Microsoft create “critical download” number KB976002. KB976002 PROBLEM. BIG PROBLEM.  I got it, and found that on switching on this morning, it produced a large announcement offering many different browsers. Happy with Internet Explorer 8, and not wishing to hit any “install” buttons it offered, I told the announcement to “Remind Me Later” to make it go away. A few minutes later I found myself unable to browse any websites due to “possible Firewall problems – Check ports.”

As ever, my monthly £17.50 for technical help insurance proved invaluable as my friendly local expert spent 40 minutes testing every bit of my machine. Having found nothing wrong (he could even access my machine remotely, so the connections were there) we re-booted… and the EU mandated browser announcement appeared again. This time, the tech himself chose to “install IE8.” Guess what? It gave us a web page saying that “you already have this and don’t need to download it.” Then… and this caused an explosion from both of us… of course, my old and trusty Internet Explorer began working as it always does – perfectly!

Thanks, European ****** Union…. For NOTHING whatsoever. On the plus side, though, at least I know my machine is healthy…

Having located the jar (incidentally marked “may contain nuts” – irony is not dead, though comedy has just hurled itself out of a window*) and scooped out a teaspoonful, I tried it. It worked. Apparently the act of having to lick the stuff off the roof of your mouth is the cure; that does funny things to your breathing, thus correcting the problem. Come to think of it, so would anaphylactic shock**, so those with a nut allergy (fewer than you’d think, according to a recently published survey) will probably have to stick to traditional methods like keys or shock / working for Gordon.

Also in the spirit of adventure, a book purchaser in Florida emailed me to say that she wished that her copy had been signed. With inventive use of a scanner at my end and a printer at hers, with two sheets of paper in between, a transatlantic signing was achieved. Come to think of it, a scanner, printer and two sheets of paper may also cure hiccups. Answers by fax, please.

* A ground floor window of course – this is ‘comedy,’ remember, so no hurt is permanent.

** like I said, ‘comedy without pain.’

The “Professional” bit of today’s rambling comes from the new attempt to “cast by television” a Dorothy for “The Wizard Of Oz.” While Andrew Lloyd Webber and Graham Norton remain, both John Barrowman and Denise Van Outen will be judging. The replacements are OK… but I do query the choice of Charlotte Church.

While an extremely experienced concert performer, unlike the other two she is replacing, she’s never done a run in a West End musical. Just as ticket-buyers see seats differently to invited guests, will this mean a new perspective in casting?

Oh, and as an aside, I picked up Ms Church’s autobiography for £1 in “Poundland” last week… and it’s actually very readable.

Theatremonkey was also built exclusively on the opinions of ordinary ticket buyers, and I include myself in that. Now, though, I have to wonder just how thin the line is between being an “ordinary” and a “professional” theatregoer. Two things triggered the thought. First, Whatsonstage readers rarely pick anything “middle of the road.” They focus with ease on the very best… and the most popular (not always the same thing). That suggests their voters are either connoisseurs or wild enthusiasts. Does that make them “general public”? Not sure.

Similarly, I recently found myself enjoying a show very much indeed. Coming home, though, I wondered if I’d have enjoyed it as much had I actually paid the original asking price for the ticket? That isn’t the same as when I’m assessing a seat for “value and quality” for a book rating – there it is comfort and view that are key – but the show itself. Was it worth about two week’s Tesco money? The views of theatremonkey website readers suggest it was… but by having those doubts, does that mean I may myself be easing towards some mythic line between amateur and professional? Hmmm…

As it turns out, the whole event in fact is in honour of St Valentine, the patron saint of restaurateurs, florists, greeting cards and chocolate manufacturers in the Mamon faith. According to these correspondents, the event is apparently celebrated by women, who are required to use as many of these services as possible in celebration of him on that date – planning beginning on Boxing Day. Fortunately, men aren’t under the same obligations as regards the latter, and may commence their own planning when filling their car with petrol at a service station on the morning of the day itself.

My big mistake, though, was in thinking that the hospital theme applied to the day itself. Apparently it applies to the 15^th February, and only to non-single men who do begin planning when filling their car with petrol at a service station on the morning of the day itself.

Either way, it explains why I couldn’t book my usual table at my favourite restaurant on Sunday for half-past six. It’s always advisable, I find, otherwise you end up too near the over-bright red-and-yellow clown on the wall and too far away for the waiters standing at the counter underneath the menus. Think I’ll leave the followers of Mamon to it, and emerge unscathed the day after…

This all seems a bit gory to me, but I guess that is the glory of our multi-cultural society with every faith entitled to openly display its symbolism. All to the good, say I.

Anyhow, for this reason, I (along with Mr P) strongly suggest the exchange of “Theatremonkey: A Guide to London’s West End” between all members of your social and family circles. There’s still time for Amazon to deliver, and Dress Circle, Waterstones and Foyles have plenty available in their shops too for instant takeaway.

One other piece of advice, since I’ve had the time to think it all over. On the day after, it probably is sensible not to send anybody an email headed “Enjoy VD?” Aside from getting trapped in a spam filter, I think it may confuse the recipient among their other junk mail.